Why Love Hurts




A facilitator once put a large white paper on the floor with handwritten curves lines (see photo). He then asked four people to stand on each side. “What do you see?” the facilitator asked. One participant said he could see an “M”. The second participant said she could see a “W”. The third participant said she could see an inverted number 3. The last participant said he could see number 3. Which of them is right? Which is wrong? 

Love is that curve on paper. The way you see it depends on which side of the paper you stand. On the side where you stand are your plants of experience, belief, faith, family upbringing and educational background which further affect your notion of love.  When you fall in love, you are oblivious to all these. That’s why some people define love as blind.  Then one day you would realize that you and the other person are not standing on the same side. You are seeing “M” while he/she is seeing “W”. Which of you are right? Which is wrong? If you always see love based on where you stand, the more you hurt yourself and the more you’ll never understand the other person. Love has truly blinded you.

When I was young, I love reading stories of Cinderella, Snow White and the Little Mermaid. I thought then that love is living happily ever after. After some heartaches, I realized that love is not a fairy tale. Of course, I realized that later on. Like most teens, I always thought that the day after the break up is the end of the world. So, I say and do all sorts of insensitive things to the guys, friends, family and even to myself. Only to find out that the end of the world was far from happening. I still woke up with mixed emotions of pain, hatred and loneliness.

So, how do we avoid pain? I’ll post next ….

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